Hey, Camp Seekers!

Last week I posted our first installment in our March series all about how to ‘Choose the Right Camp’. This helpful series covers information that we’ve learned from the incredibly informational and easy-reading guidebook, ‘The Summer Camp Handbook’, written by summer camp experts Dr Chris Thurber and Dr. Jon Malinowski. Each installment of this series poses its own question that will help you to narrow your search for the right camp.

Today’s question:

HOW LONG DO YOU WANT TO STAY?

It’s a good idea to focus on a range instead of trying to pinpoint a set amount of days or weeks. Start by asking your kid how long of a stay would be most comfortable. All kids are different—some will prefer to try a week or less, others want a solid two weeks, and some want a whole month or more!

When it comes to approaching your soon-to-be-camper on the topic of the length of their camp stay, you want to be aware of key phrasing when asking certain questions: It’s always helpful to children when you make comparisons when talking about lengths of time. Try to avoid such an open question like, “How long sounds good to you, Joe?” Instead, ask “What do you think about a two-week stay; that’s how long you stayed with Uncle Matt last summer. Does that seem like a good length to stay at camp?”

Of course you should respect your kid’s choice for a shorter camp stay if that is so desired, but if they’re okay with it—the longer the better! While a specialty camp could get boring, concentrating on the same activities routinely, but traditional camps that offer such long camp sessions are typically exceptional, advanced, and well-rounded programs with a variety of choices in activities and more than just one or two visiting days.

A major benefit to a longer stay a well-designed camp is that campers have the opportunity to grow and develop significant skill levels in the activities of their choosing. As Dr. Thurber and Dr. Malinowski put it in their book, “You simply cannot go through all the archery or riflery marksmanship rankings, or learn the finer points of English riding, or earn a SCUBA certification, or become and expert sailor, in one short week. Those sort of accomplishments require a longer session.”

Help your kid to consider a longer camp stay for a fully immersive experience to get the most out of camp. Be sure to tune in for more great tips and advice next Monday and, as always, thanks for reading!

- John

Hey, Camp Seekers!

Are you searching for the right summer camp to send your little darling/s? You want it to be just right for them, of course. Well, if you’ve come across this Blog post, then you’re in luck because it’s chock-full of great advice. Borrowing the excellent information available in ‘The Summer Camp Handbook,’—written by camp experts, Dr. Chris Thurber and Dr. Jon Malinowski—today’s post is the first in a four-part series called ‘Choose the Right Camp’ every Monday in March.

Each installment of this series will pose a question that will help you to narrow your search among the multitudes of camps that are an option for you. Today’s question:

WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO TO CAMP?

Geographically speaking, that is, do you want a camp that’s close to home, far from home, far from home but close to family…? Each choice has its own advantages. You might think that attending a camp closer to home would decrease any chances of your kid feeling homesick. But the distance really has nothing to do with feelings of homesickness. Feeling homesick is really just how kids feel when they’re away from mom and dad.

Close to Home
•    It’s an easier time visiting the camp for evaluation, drop-off, pick-up, and visiting days
•    There’s a better chance of finding parents you know who’ve already sent their kids to that camp
•    Makes for less expensive travel
•    There’s potential for an in-state tuition discount
•    There’s also potential for cabin mates to be friends from school or hometown
•    Letters only take a couple days of travel

Far from Home
•    You have more choices from which to choose
•    Kids (teenagers especially) like making long trips to go stay on their own
•    A camp that’s a ways away from home is likely to provide a new environment. This opportunity could expose your kid to worldly wonders that may not be a part of their everyday life (depending on where you live) like mountains, lakes, snow, warm weather, the ocean, or even a non-English-speaking country!
•    Excuse for family vacation when camp is over.

Far from Home but Close to Family
Far from home but close to family is another option for you and your kid. It can be a comfort to both camper and parent to send their kid to a faraway camp that’s close to grandparents, aunts and uncles, or other close relatives.

You should also consider the unique advantages of certain geographical locations such as climate, landscape, and bodies of water that your child will need in order to do the activities that he or she is interested in.

I hope you’ve found these tips useful when you embark upon your search! Tune in for more great tips and advice next Monday and, as always, thanks for reading!

- John

So your kid hated the camp you loved as a kid? You’re heartbroken now, right? Of course you are. What parent doesn’t want their son or daughter to love everything they did as a kid? Well, almost everything. Eh-hem. In most cases, we moms and dads want to replicate the excitement, the learning, and the laughter we experienced back in the day. So what gives, kiddo?

Believe it or not, children all over the world don’t like some of the things their parents did at the same tender age. Why? Here’s the breakdown:

• Changes. The camp may have changed. Like any organization, camps evolve. Some get better with time; others get worse. Who knows—from a camper point of view—what direction yours took over the past 25 years?
• Dreams. You have romanticized the experience. I promise. You remember the s’mores, the skit nights, and the sunny days. But do you also remember the homesickness, the wedgies, and the rainy days?
• Quirks. Your child is not you. Many children resemble their parents in mannerisms, food preferences, and intelligence. Fewer resemble their parents in personality, activity preferences, and social style. The camp that fit your interests and developmental level may not fit your child. At all. Maybe ever. And that’s OK.
• Apples. One bad apple can spoil the bushel. The camp may have improved, your recollection may be accurate, and your child may have been a perfect fit. But…last summer may also have been ruined by a rare cruel cabin mate or (less rare) undertrained counselor.

So now what? These and other reasons for a misfit may make sense out of mystery, but you still need options for next summer. Here are a few good ones:

• Breathe. Take a deep breath. Respect the individuality of your child. Honor the ways in which he or she is different from you. It’s exciting to think about the fascinating directions his or her life will take.
• See. Keep an open mind. Maybe your child will return to the camp of your childhood and love it next summer; maybe he or she will attend a different camp. Heck, maybe camp is not even in the cards.
• Invite. Know the research. Children who feel forced to go to camp are much more likely to experience intense homesickness than those who feel a sense of agency. Involve your child in all of the big and small decisions about how he or she spends the summer.
• Learn. Engage your child in a series of low-key, candid conversation about his or her experience. You know they didn’t like it, but now is the time to find out more. Ask: “What were some of the best things about camp?” and “What were some of the worst things about camp?” and “What might make a camp experience better next summer?”
• Listen. Listen carefully, without defending your camp. The key to finding the truth about last summer is to not contradict your child. His or her experience was their reality. Respect that by simply listening. Do not offer explanations, solutions, or—worse yet—minimizing the intensity of their dislike with phrases such as, “It couldn’t have been that bad” or “I know Camp X and I’m sure it wasn’t like that.”

If camp is still under consideration, use the two-column technique and list (with your child) the pros and cons of camp, in general. Then, talk about whether your camp is worth a second try. If there was something specific and solvable, call the camp director (with your child) and see what can be done to remediate the problem your child has identified.

If camp is not under consideration, table it for now. Use a different piece of paper and list some other options. Music lessons? Parks and rec programs? Sports clinics? Volunteer work? Art classes? Your openness to some non-camp choices will actually cause your child to reconsider a summary dismissal of camp. If you space out a series of conversations about the summer, you will further depressurize the topic and open your son or daughter’s mind up to different possibilities. And yes, that includes the possibility of returning to the camp you enjoyed so much as a child.

Whatever you and your child decide—together—about next summer, you can be assured that he or she will get a lot out of the respect you’ve shown; the partnership you’ve formed; the freedom you’ve granted. Lay out the menu of options, but don’t force-feed any one choice or it’s likely to backfire. True growth involves self-actualization. And whether that happens at your camp is less important than whether it happens at all.

Enjoy the summer!

Dr. Christopher Thurber

Doctors Chris Thurber and Jon Malinowski are the authors of ‘The Summer Camp Handbook’, an excellent source of expert advice about choosing camps, packing essential camp gear, and emotionally preparing your child (as well as yourself) for the approaching summer camp season. Check it out for yourself right here. Thanks for reading.

Hey, Unhappy Campers.

Did the summer camp season leave you disappointed and unimpressed? All the good things everyone had to say about camp and everything you read about it (including posts on THIS Blog) led you to believe that your kid’s summer camp experience would be nothing short of amazing. What went wrong? While this certainly isn’t the norm, it’s not unheard of for children to have an unpleasant summer camp experience. However, I cannot stress this next point enough—just because your kid didn’t like their summer camp, doesn’t mean that they don’t like SUMMER CAMP.

If you didn’t pick the right camp for your kid, there’s still hope to find a different one that your kid will enjoy next year. Finding a dud camp stinks for that summer visit, but in the long run, it’s a bad taste in your mouth that goes away petty quick.

Even the summer camp experts who wrote the literal book on camp, ‘The Summer Camp Handbook’, didn’t fall in love with the summer camp experience at first sight. Both of their initial camp stays were chaotic and ungainful. But it wasn’t enough to deter them from pursuing better camps that offered a little more organization and fun. Now they can’t get enough of summer camp!

Tune into this Blog next month (October 12) to read a post contributed to us by one of the authors of ‘The Summer Camp Handbook’, Dr. Chris Thurber. Chris will take the reins on this topic and give you great advice for giving your kids a healthy, unforceful push back into the summer camp direction despite their recent disenchantment.

So, if your kid didn’t enjoy their time at summer camp this season, don’t despair—just come back to the Everything Summer Camp Blog for excellent advice on the subject. And, as always, thanks for reading!

- John

Hey Camp Fans!

The Everything Summer Camp Blog today presents a special Thurber Throwback post in which I am linking back to a past post I feel is so valuable, I want to review it by getting it in front of you again. Today’s Throwback post goes back about a year ago to a post written by Dr. Chris Thurber—summer camp expert—about camp friends staying in touch on social media after the camp season is over.

Thurber’s post ‘Post-Camp Post’ offers excellent advice and tips about letting your kids stay in touch with camp friends online or by means of texting and other ways of staying connected via electronics. It’s all right here on Everything Summer Camp’s Blog post from July 28 of last year.

- John