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Mean Beans

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Hey, Spring-Lovers!

In the aftermath of Easter, today we have National Jelly Bean Day to show our appreciation to these little candies that have become springtime favorites. To celebrate this holiday, I brought our work team together to compete for $20 by eating Jelly Bean treats. However, these were not your ordinary beans; I brought Bean-Boozled Beans! The recipients roll a color die, and pick a Jelly Bean according to their roll.

Bean-Boozled Beans are a mixture of sugary treats and revolting flavors. And all the beans are paired to look identical to a certain other flavors so players don’t know if they’re about to eat a Buttered Popcorn Bean or a Rotten Egg…Close up of assorted multicolored jelly beans.

It’s a pretty awful game.

But with $20 on the line we gathered a crowd of brave souls who weren’t afraid to stomach the potential flavor of Boogers, Spoiled Milk, Dead Fish, or worse! Some folks hoped they might luck out and see their way through the competition with the good flavors—pulling beans like Berry Blue, Chocolate Pudding, or Tuitti-Fruitti.

The rules were simple: If you make a face at the flavor, you’re out. If you make it to the end, you win.

Our Vice President, Mark, was the first to bow out as the taste of Canned Dog Food did not sit well with his palette. But Brian, Matt, Nate, Deb, Sara, Mike, and Bob all carried on until Bob quit in the third round when he hit a Barf flavor bean. “I’m out!” He exclaimed.

The numbers dwindled one by one after that. Brian couldn’t choke down the Dead Fish flavor. A Moldy Cheese bean got the best of Deb while the Spoiled Milk flavor made Sara cringe.

And then there were three.

Nate, Matt, and Mike passed round after round with a little bit of luck and lot more perseverance until Matt hit a bean that tasted like a Stinky Sock that took him right out of commission. His eyes watered and he went beet-red. Only Nate and Mike remained. The two matched each other swallowing some terrible tastes but holding back their frowns and gag reflexes.

After a handful of rounds, we upped the ante, making it so each of them had to eat a combo of flavors. “The Toothpaste is sort of overpowering whatever the other one is,” said Mike. Meanwhile, Nate just shook his head. “I don’t know what this is,” he said. “It’s not good.” But despite their struggles, the two powered through and moved up to three beans in the next round.

Eventually, the remainder of the beans were divided in half which left about ten for Nate and ten for Mike. The two bid one another good luck and with an anxious called out “Cheers!” And then—down the hatch! You could see the pain behind their straight faces as they chewed and chewed their mystery hodgepodge of nasty corn syrup creations. But neither of them would cave.

With these two left standing, it seemed only right that they split the prize money after such equal displays of bravery and valor. More than just $10 each, these two won National Jelly Bean Day! Congratulations two Nate and Mike for this disgusting accomplishment. Please, see the video below to catch a moment or two from this cringey contest and, as always, thanks for reading!

 

- John

 

 


Easter?! In December?…

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Happy Easter, all you April Fools!

Today we celebrate Easter Sunday, but we’ll have to sneak in a harmless prank here and there throughout the day since our Easter observation coincides with April Fools this year! 2018 marks the first time ever that Easter Sunday has fallen on the same day as April 1st or ‘April Fools’ Day’.

As we all know, Easter Sunday is observed in Christianity to celebrate the resurrection of Today might get a bit confusing. Hopefully this Blog post clears things up for everyone.Jesus; and April Fools’ Day has a history of its own which you can read about by clicking to a previous Blog post from Everything Summer Camp right here.

Unlike Christmas or the Fourth of July, the date of Easter Sunday has always skipped around the calendar. We’ve known it to bounce back and forth between April and March for the majority of this last century, however, it’s actually landed on Sundays from every month of the calendar since the original Easter Sunday over 2000 years ago.

Landing on the first of the month today signifies Easter’s departure from the month of March for the coming millennium. Easter Sundays will only fall in April for the next few decades until it gradually shifts into a dance between April and May for the next half a century (or longer). And when that phase comes to and end, Easter Sundays will start landing exclusively in May for many years until it starts to creep into June.

Eventually, it will make its way all throughout the calendar year and return to the springtime to which we have been made accustomed to its landing. Easter in August may sound funny to you, but imagine a year in the far distant future when Easter Sunday coincides with Halloween—or Christmas!

Baaaah! Okay—I can’t keep it up anymore. April Fools! April Fools! Look at all your faces! I can’t believe you fell for that! This has been nothing more than a prank post. This is actually far from the first time that Easter and April Fools have shared the same day.

The last time was in 1956. And it happened many times before that. And it’s going to happen even more times in the future (next time coming in 2029). Easter Sundays are actually determined by the date of the full moon after March 20th since this is a date that consistently lands after the vernal equinox. But I’d understand if you don’t trust me anymore. As always, thanks for reading! And Happy Easter!

 

- John


Superbowl LI Predictions

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Hey, Football Fans!

We’re chomping at the bit for the arrival of the regular season here at Everything Summer Camp and our excitement is too much that we haven’t been able to sit idly by as we wait. In our anticipation as the summer season comes to a close, I toured the office to see what teams we expect to see play in Suberbowl LI. With our prized team in mind, we all have our fingers crossed that we made the right call.Hut Hut Hike

As Wisconsinites, my findings didn’t surprise me very much. After all, what kind of fan is going to throw their team under the bus? At Everything Summer Camp, our team is Green Bay through and through (except for our Shipping Manager Tim…but don’t mind him—he’s from Minnesota). The Packers are a good-lookin’ team who could definitely take it all the way this year. Lots of folks around the office are predicting to see the New England Patriots play against Green Bay for the championship.

President of the company, Ed gave his two cents, favoring the Packers to win the Superbowl against the Patriots, as did our Operations Manager, Brian; our Graphics Department Manager, Nate; our Assistant Shipping Manager, Mike; as well as our Printing Technician, EJ.

In other offices there was a bit more variety. Our Vice President, Mark says it’s going to be a close Packer win against the Tennessee Titans while Amy, our Graphic Artist, thinks it’s the Texans that will lose to the Packers in the Superbowl. Our Sales Director Matt thinks the Packers are going to match up with the Pittsburgh Steelers and that the Steelers are going to win (apparently the kind of fan who would throw their team under the bus is Matt!).

Tim’s prediction was the only one that didn’t include the Packers. He says we’ll see the Dallas Cowboys match up with the Oakland Raiders with a win for the Cowboys.

But whether you’re a Packer fan or not, football is football and it’s back! So celebrate along with all of us at Everything Summer Camp and join in the fandfootballsom that grows more and more every year. Football appeals to a lot of people which is good because the more people you watch it with, the more fun it is! As always, thanks for reading!

 

- John


Pranks a Lot…

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Hey, Fools!

…APRIL Fools, that is. And who hasn’t been fooled good at some point or another? We all know WE have at Everything Summer Camp—and I mean, literally, HERE at Everything Summer Camp. With a number of pranksters in the office and an even greater number of those seeking revenge, April Firsts around here seem to escalate every year. Allow me to walk you down a few blocks of memory lane…The scene of the pranks.

For some people, pranks are just part of their personality. For them, it is a must-scratch itch—an unrelenting urge that courses through them like the blood through their veins.

Enter: Matthew Stephen DeMuth—Sales Manager and natural born-prankster.
Watch your back if you see this guy around your vicinity.
Looking to cause some fuss one spring, Matt downloaded a Prank Dialer app for his phone. Using this app, Matt was able to make it appear as though people from his phone’s list of Contacts were calling one another. He had Sara call Mark and Mark call Ed, then Ed call Ryan and Ryan call…well, you get the picture.

This prank spanned quite a bit longer than just April First. Matt even went through the trouble of including himself in the prank dials to elude suspicion.

But, despite his efforts, being the desperate pranker that he is, people started to suspect Matt anyway which forced him to take it even further. Having wisely excluded Brian from any of the prank calls, Matt was in a position to frame the mild-mannered Operations Manager. Unfortunately for Matt, nobody bought it.

And, double-unfortunately for Matt, people hadn’t forgotten about his tricks one year later. Taking a note from the office pranks between Jim and Dwight in the hit show, ‘The Office’, Mark and Sara worked together to obtain Matt’s phone and toss it above the ceiling tiles. Then, as Jim did in the show, Mark and Sara proceeded to call Matt’s phone…frequently, which surely drove the much-deserving DeMuth quite crazy. The king of April Fools Pranks and President of Everything Summer Camp, Ed Holand

In other years, Ed—the president of Everything Summer Camp—has dirtied his hands with the best of them in April Fools past. In fact, he’s become rather notorious around the office, actually, for his diabolical pranks and clever deceit. Several years before Matt pulled one over on everyone with his Prank Dialer app, Ed got everybody all at once as well.

Having installed fake security cameras in the break room, Ed created a cacophonous rise out of everybody at lunchtime when they saw the cameras and expressed their unfavorable opinions. The prank was pretty much forced to be revealed very quickly before a mob started.

Ed topped himself in a following year when he disclosed to everybody that the Occupational Safety & Health Administration (OSHA) released a new law concerning proximity safety. He then explained that OSHA deems our trunk factory to operate too close to the adjoining offices and all office employees must now wear mandatory safety goggles.
Check out these mandatory saftey precautions! APRIL FOOLS!!!
You can imagine how stupid everybody with a desk job felt, wearing safety goggles at the computer and taking customer phone calls. Eventually, Ed couldn’t keep it together and put an end to his own prank.

So, as you can see, with our track record around THIS office, today is a day to watch our backs and tread lightly. I recommend the same approach for all of you living or working with prank-prone people. And, as always, thanks for reading.

 

- John


Even GARFIELD would like THIS Monday!

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Hey, you Lazy Loafers!

Don’t worry!—I’m not trying to call you out on it. In fact, I’m here to encourage your laziness today! That’s right. Shove your chores aside! Stretch out! Put the recliner back and the footrest up! Today was meant for anyone and everyone who’s ever been bit by the lazy bug or born with a lazy bone; today is National Lazy Day.
This dog is the queen of laze
Unlike my sister’s adorable, but lethargic, Chihuahua—Tilly—National Lazy Day comes just once a year for folks like you and me (at least, only once on such an official level as this). So, just for today, let’s all embrace our laziness and live it up like Tilly and all her apathetic Chihuahua friends.

Tilly doesn't do anything on National Lazy Day!But a day of such lethargy and slothfulness has given me pause and created a dilemma for me. After all, how should a day of such indifference be observed on this Blog? Is it right to advertise and campaign in favor of such languor and inertia? Or does it fly in the face of the very thesis that National Lazy Day stands for?—Inactivity! Inattentiveness! And ABOVE ALL Arrested Productivity!

I apologize…. Allow me to take a step back; I’m getting a little too passionate here for a day like today…

To write today’s post, I first sat down with a focus on the origins of National Lazy Day. I thought we could discover what historical events took place, paving the way for this day to be put into motion. But then, thought, no. That sounds like learning. And learning just sounds like too much work today.

So, then I thought, maybe I’ll compile a list of appropriate ways to display your laziness for today, y’know—sleep in until noon…watch cartoons all day…take a nap. But then I started to worry that lists go hand-in-hand with productivity which is NOT in the spirit of this holiday. I’m here to tell you to relax, not assign you a ‘To-Do’ list (as lazy as it may be).

And so it was that I lazily came to this final conclusion:

There is NOTHING I can say to advocate National Lazy Day without thereby defying it. In other words, enjoy National Lazy Day…y’know…if you feel like it…

As for myself, I’ve decided to simply quit…the Blog, my job, perhaps my personal hygiene—just for today. I’m really gonna do Lazy Day up in style. I’ll seek ouDo or do not. Just whatever you do, don't try!t the true nature of laziness as Luke Skywalker sought out the ways of The Force from the great, Jedi Master, Yoda.… I’ll pursue an apprenticeship for myself under the Master of True Laze herself…Tilly.

- John

Oh yeah—and, y’know, as always, thanks for reading…I guess..

Go back to sleep, I will.