So your kid hated the camp you loved as a kid? You’re heartbroken now, right? Of course you are. What parent doesn’t want their son or daughter to love everything they did as a kid? Well, almost everything. Eh-hem. In most cases, we moms and dads want to replicate the excitement, the learning, and the laughter we experienced back in the day. So what gives, kiddo?

Believe it or not, children all over the world don’t like some of the things their parents did at the same tender age. Why? Here’s the breakdown:

• Changes. The camp may have changed. Like any organization, camps evolve. Some get better with time; others get worse. Who knows—from a camper point of view—what direction yours took over the past 25 years?
• Dreams. You have romanticized the experience. I promise. You remember the s’mores, the skit nights, and the sunny days. But do you also remember the homesickness, the wedgies, and the rainy days?
• Quirks. Your child is not you. Many children resemble their parents in mannerisms, food preferences, and intelligence. Fewer resemble their parents in personality, activity preferences, and social style. The camp that fit your interests and developmental level may not fit your child. At all. Maybe ever. And that’s OK.
• Apples. One bad apple can spoil the bushel. The camp may have improved, your recollection may be accurate, and your child may have been a perfect fit. But…last summer may also have been ruined by a rare cruel cabin mate or (less rare) undertrained counselor.

So now what? These and other reasons for a misfit may make sense out of mystery, but you still need options for next summer. Here are a few good ones:

• Breathe. Take a deep breath. Respect the individuality of your child. Honor the ways in which he or she is different from you. It’s exciting to think about the fascinating directions his or her life will take.
• See. Keep an open mind. Maybe your child will return to the camp of your childhood and love it next summer; maybe he or she will attend a different camp. Heck, maybe camp is not even in the cards.
• Invite. Know the research. Children who feel forced to go to camp are much more likely to experience intense homesickness than those who feel a sense of agency. Involve your child in all of the big and small decisions about how he or she spends the summer.
• Learn. Engage your child in a series of low-key, candid conversation about his or her experience. You know they didn’t like it, but now is the time to find out more. Ask: “What were some of the best things about camp?” and “What were some of the worst things about camp?” and “What might make a camp experience better next summer?”
• Listen. Listen carefully, without defending your camp. The key to finding the truth about last summer is to not contradict your child. His or her experience was their reality. Respect that by simply listening. Do not offer explanations, solutions, or—worse yet—minimizing the intensity of their dislike with phrases such as, “It couldn’t have been that bad” or “I know Camp X and I’m sure it wasn’t like that.”

If camp is still under consideration, use the two-column technique and list (with your child) the pros and cons of camp, in general. Then, talk about whether your camp is worth a second try. If there was something specific and solvable, call the camp director (with your child) and see what can be done to remediate the problem your child has identified.

If camp is not under consideration, table it for now. Use a different piece of paper and list some other options. Music lessons? Parks and rec programs? Sports clinics? Volunteer work? Art classes? Your openness to some non-camp choices will actually cause your child to reconsider a summary dismissal of camp. If you space out a series of conversations about the summer, you will further depressurize the topic and open your son or daughter’s mind up to different possibilities. And yes, that includes the possibility of returning to the camp you enjoyed so much as a child.

Whatever you and your child decide—together—about next summer, you can be assured that he or she will get a lot out of the respect you’ve shown; the partnership you’ve formed; the freedom you’ve granted. Lay out the menu of options, but don’t force-feed any one choice or it’s likely to backfire. True growth involves self-actualization. And whether that happens at your camp is less important than whether it happens at all.

Enjoy the summer!

Dr. Christopher Thurber

Doctors Chris Thurber and Jon Malinowski are the authors of ‘The Summer Camp Handbook’, an excellent source of expert advice about choosing camps, packing essential camp gear, and emotionally preparing your child (as well as yourself) for the approaching summer camp season. Check it out for yourself right here. Thanks for reading.

Hey, Safety Kids!

Today is Fire Prevention Day. I wrote about this day on October 9 of last year, offering tips on fire safety around the house so you and your family can learn what to do to increase your chances of preventing a fire. Today’s post, on the other hand, covers the proper way to safely build, maintain, and extinguish your fires OUTSIDE of the house.

First of all, you should only build fires in a designated fire pit that is provided for you in a state park or one that belongs to your family in your own backyard. If a camp site does not provide you with fire pits, check with the park to see if digging your own pit is allowed. Some may allow it while others do not.

If you can dig your own, you should do it 15 ft. away from any tents, shrubs, or trees around you and steer clear of low-hanging branches above. Pits should be about a foot deep and lined with a circle of rocks.

Now you’re ready to start preparing your pit. Place your smallest pieces of dry wood on the bottom and lay your firewood on top of each other around the small twigs and other kindling. It’s smart as you get your fire going (and as it burns) to have a bucket of water close by as well as a shovel.

Furthermore, keep your fire to a manageable size as you continue to add firewood. And never leave your fire unattended!

Potentially the most important part about outdoor fire safety is putting your campfires out and making sure that they STAY out! The best method is to let the wood completely burn to ash, if you can. Then you should pour lots of water on the fire until the logs stop hissing. It helps to stir the ashes and embers with a shovel in between pouring. Make sure everything has gotten wet and cold to the touch.

If you don’t have water, you can use dirt to extinguish the fire, but do not attempt to bury the fire as it will continue to smolder underground and potentially crawl back up to the surface through plant roots and cause a wildfire.

Kids should always have adult supervision when making fires inside OR outside! As Smokey the Bear says, “Only you can prevent forest fires.” As always, thanks for reading and—of course—thank you, Smokey.

- John

Hey, Camp Fans!

The ‘Share Your Camp Story’ drawing here at Everything Summer Camp was a success! With an awesome response of nearly 30 entries, we’re happy to publish each one right here on the Blog! After our seven lucky winners, everyone else who submitted received a $15 gift certificate to our online store—so really everyone who submitted was a winner! Today’s post includes Rico L.’s camp story about his summer days at an n2 Overnight Camp:

“I am an only child so going away to camp was hard for me, especially not knowing anyone. My mom didn’t want me to worry about camp. She just told me it would go by quick and that I would make lots of friends. Well, originally, my mom told me 2 weeks which was fine at first. BUT when I got to camp and they told me “Well, this is going to be the best 3 fun-filled weeks,” I started to tear up!..my mom had signed me up for 3 weeks and didn’t know it. I was sad the first week, because I didn’t think I belonged or fit in. But it was my counselor and my camp mates that made me feel better. The first week was my birthday, I thought then I could have escaped and get to go home, to celebrate my birthday. Nope!! But I was happy that I got to talk with my parents on the phone. The best part was when the counselors woke me up at 1:00 am to celebrate my birthday, which made me feel even better. After this I knew I wanted to stay! We had cake and CANDY!! YES SUGAR! My counselor and friends made me feel special. The best part about camp is the FREEDOM. We got to choose what we wanted to do each day. I like playing basketball, which I played a lot with my friends. I actually had fun at camp, I am looking forward to next year and told my mom to sign me up for 4 weeks this time!”

Thanks again for your submission, Rico! Glad to hear that you stuck it out despite the surprise extra week you had. Though I was unable to find which specific camp Rico attended, it sounds like n2 overnight was great for him! And, as always, thanks for reading!

- John

Hello, Good Folks out there!

Kindness is a pretty big deal. Everyone appreciates it, it spreads its goodness everywhere it goes, and it benefits the doer of the kind deed as well as the deed’s recipient by delivering a well-deserved feeling of self-satisfaction. It’s no wonder that there are so many days on the calendar for the celebration of kindness.
Not only is today ‘Do Something Nice Day’, but there are four other days on the matter—three of which we’ve posted about on this Blog! January 24 is ‘Compliment Day’, a great day to spread your natural sunshine by saying something nice about someone. February 17 is ‘Random Acts of Kindness Day’ in which you do something nice for someone. There’s also ‘Make Someone’s Day Day’ on October 29 and ‘World Kindness Day’ just a couple weeks later on November 13.

For the Blog post I wrote on World Kindness Day, I put together a list of good deeds people can do for one another. For the ‘Make Someone’s Day Day’, I discussed altruism and how a selfless act can actually benefit not just the recipient, but you as well (as the doer of the good deed).

To touch on another, somewhat self-serving benefit of kindness for today’s post, treating others with kindness will typically return to you. It’s true! You can call it Karma if you like, but really it only makes sense to think that if you treat someone kindly, they’ll respond with kindness—treat everyone kindly and you’ll receive nothing but kindness back!

What goes around certainly does come around, so make today of all days, a kind day and see what you get back in return! It’s a great incentive to doing something nice! Happy ‘Do Something Nice Day’ and, as always, thanks for reading!

- John

Hey, Campers!

Over 11 million people attend summer camp every year; it comes as no surprise to discover that tons of famous folks went to summer camp, just like you. From actors to athletes as well as artists and business executives like musicians and record producers, a plethora of familiar, famous names were once summer campers like yourself.

Clive Davis—a record producer and executive in the music industry—was affiliated with summer camp. Having lost both his parents as a teenager, Clive learned from a young age that he had to work hard in order to take care of himself. He worked at Camp Equinunk as a waiter for two summers while making his way through law school.

Equinunk sits alongside its sister camp, Blue Ridge, on more than 400 acres of fields and woodsy trails as well as a 75-acre private, spring fed lake in Pennsylvania—just a few hours outside the New York and Philadelphia area.

He’s been called the Man with Golden Ears: Clive has won five Grammy Awards and has been inducted (as a non-performer) into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. He’s worked with everyone including a wide range like Bob Dylan and Paul Simon to artists of more modern times like Whitney Houston and Kelly Clarkson.

But before he ever dreamed of reaching such wild success in the music industry, Clive was a lawyer. He landed a job at Columbia Records and, over time, made his way up to president. After signing major successes, he went on to found Arista Records in which he was president and after that, he founded J Records. He is currently still a major player in the careers of popular artists today such as Aretha Franklin, Leona Lewis, and Jennifer Hudson.

Clive Davis discovered the successful results of hard work and determination. What wild successes will your hard work result in? As always, thanks for reading, Camp Fans!

- John