Behold the question every parent ponders before and after the camp season. The good news is that hiring protocols and staff training programs at most high quality camps prevent anyone with ulterior or unsavory motives from ever becoming a part of the camp family. Whew!

The bad news is that every summer, a tiny fraction of the millions of boys and girls who attend camps in the US and Canada are either mistreated by a camp staff member during the season or drawn into an inappropriate relationship sometime after. I believe that even a tiny fraction is unacceptable, so I want to share the keys to protecting your child.

Readers familiar with my work know what a tremendous advocate I am for youth camping. Having worked for decades with dozens of venerable professional camp organizations, I understand what a positive and powerful developmental growth experience camp is for young people. I am also a tremendous advocate of child safety. As a clinical psychologist and waterfront director with two children of my own, I’m probably one of the most safety-conscious people you’ll meet. Indeed, every summer, I bet my staff $1000 that they’ll never catch me in any of our 64 camp boats without a life jacket. I’ve yet to lose that bet.

I also teach my own children about safe and unsafe touch so they understand the difference and could stop and report an inappropriate advance. Even if it happened at camp. Beyond my own family, I have created a library of video training modules, hosted on a website called ExpertOnlineTraining.com. The site provides training to tens of thousands of summer camp staff worldwide, and includes titles such as Safe Touch & Safe Talk, Duty of Care, Active Lifeguarding, and Wise Use of Time Off. Naturally, I recommend that you ask your child’s camp director whether he or she subscribes to ExpertOnlineTraining.com or other reputable online training. Pre-season online training has become an essential supplement to the on-site training camp counselors receive. Given the choice between highly trained and less highly trained staff, the choice for parents is obvious.

Of course, camp and safety go hand-in-hand. Campers do engage in risky activities at camp, such as swimming, rock climbing, and horseback riding, but wise camp directors ensure that every reasonable precaution is in place to minimize the occurrence of accidents. Those precautions are part of what make risky activities fun, not frightening. Those precautions are also what make parents trust high-quality camps. Naturally, smart parents understand that no camp is accident-free, but when they can see the safety equipment in place, they are reassured. If you were to walk around camp, you should see the lifeguards on duty, see the safety harnesses on the climbers, and see the helmets on the riders.

Sadly, nobody could ever see the potential for inappropriate behavior between a camp staff member and a child. But that invisibility should not stop you from protecting your child from predators by asking the right questions and looking for the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship.

As I outline in my book, The Summer Camp Handbook, you should begin by teaching your child how to protect him- or herself from unsafe touch. Norman Friedman’s book Inoculating Your Child Against Sexual Abuse provides detailed guidance as well. Next, conduct the search for your child’s camp carefully. This careful search has many components but the three that most parents neglect are:

1) Finding out whether the camp is accredited and by whom.
2) Discussing the director’s education and experience.
3) Asking about the camp’s hiring protocols and staff training program.

In these three neglected domains, here’s what you should verify:

1) The camp you send your child to should be accredited. In the US, this means accredited by the American Camp Association. In Canada, this means accredited by the province in which the camp operates. There are some high-quality non-accredited camps, but you’ll need to personally verify hundreds of health, safety and personnel standards before resting assured you’ve chosen wisely. Use the ACA’s new Accreditation Standards for Camp Programs and Services as your guide.

2) Your camp’s director should have years of youth development experience under his or her belt and should participate in continuing professional education-such as camp conferences-each year. Find out what their professional credentials are, what conferences or seminars they last attended, and what other camp experience they have.

3) The camp should freely share with you its protocols for conducting required background checks. These could include criminal background checks, but that will only uncover whether a person has been convicted of a felony in the state or province in which the check is conducted. More meaningful is the process of religiously checking a staff member’s references. Finding people who have known the prospective hire well and who have witnessed their work with children is better than verifying whether or not they are not a convicted felon. The camp should also freely share with you its staff training program, including participation in ExpertOnlineTraining.com. Whatever training program a director uses should include modules on appropriate touch, discipline, and communication with children.

Lest your love and concern for your child evolve into protective paranoia, let me emphasize that the personal relationships that form between your child and the camp staff are typically wonderful. They are what kids remember most about camp and what they crave during the off-season. These relationships are also the necessary foundation for growth. Without those caring relationships, there can be no increased self-esteem or independence, no growth in social-skills or confidence. The key to a positive experience at camp is a healthy, nurturing relationship between children and their caregivers at camp. For this reason, it is my sincere hope that the principles outlined above will help you and your son or daughter find a camp where those healthy relationships flourish.

Dr. Christopher Thurber

For additional parent resources, visit: SummerCampHandbook.com

Hey, Camp Parents!

The idea of your child becoming part of a warring faction at summer camp may initially sound kind of off-putting, until you realize that color wars are a camp staple and include fun activities and games that almost all kids look forward to. Camp is split into two teams assigned different colors that compete in both athletic and non-athletic activities. Teams wear their colors and earn points for different conquests during the week. At the end of the week points are added up and there is a winner.

Not only does each team have a color at my camp, they also have a theme, such as movies or TV. The campers plan all sorts of cheers, skits and songs around their theme. Games include basketball, Ultimate Frisbee, softball, volleyball, soccer, kickball, swim meets, bucket brigade, chaos, dodge ball, tug of war and cheer competition. Each team takes pride in its themes, costumes, banners and constant cheering for five days, culminating with the traditional Sing competition. This final contest, along with events like the Hatchet Hunt, Rope Burning and Apache Relays and all other Color War activities, provides a thrilling and memorable experience where campers utilize the skills they have learned during the summer.

Color Wars consist of several events that are worth a small amount of points, and then one much bigger final event that is worth enough points to win or lose the entire color war. This usually takes place at the end of summer camp. Everything Summer Camp stocks plenty of merchandise that can make Color Wars more fun, including two different types of 100 percent cotton T-shirts available in eight colors each in order to exhibit team pride. Get a stadium horn, megaphone, hand clapper noisemakers, colored beads, an inflatable hand proclaiming “We’re #1″ and other items that can enhance the Color Wars experience. Everything Summer Camp provides fast shipping, a price match guarantee, and a rock solid reputation that has earned it the recommendation of more than 270 camps nationwide. And, as always, thanks for reading.

- John

Hey, Camp Families!

For many kids and parents, sleepaway summer camp is an annual rite. But even families who profess to “know the drill” get caught in the vortex of packing too much. How can you avoid the scourge of over-packing for camp?

Kids do not usually have an abundance of space to keep their stuff at camp, so a less-is-more approach here can be beneficial. Although there is going to be a temptation to pack lots of clothes, consider carefully which clothes they will really need. Gallon-size Ziploc bags can be a very convenient way to organize clothes you pack for your campers. Pack two pairs of shoes, flip flops or sandals, jeans or long pants, extra socks, and extra underwater. Label everything. Place one day’s clothing in one bag and label it. Tell your kids to put their dirty clothes in the bag when they change.

Knowing what not to pack for camp is actually as important as remembering what to pack. Limit the amount of tech gadgets your child packs. Summer camp is a place where children should be breaking away from their daily routines at home and trying different things. Many camps do not permit kids to bring cell phones for this reason.

Make sure the sleeping bag fits your child. Packing a huge sleeping bag for adults when your kid is less than 5 feet tall (and maybe barely 4 feet) is a huge waste of packing space. Don’t pack clothing you wouldn’t want to get dirty. Follow the camp’s suggested packing list, but do not exceed it by including too much clothing or too many other items that are not part of that list. Footwear is a notorious space-eater. A couple of pairs of sneakers are probably all that are necessary. There is no point in packing formal shoes or too many extra pairs of sneakers.

As always, thanks for reading!

- John

Hey, Camp Parents!

Your child is heading off to summer camp for the first time and you’re concerned about homesickness. Now, remember homesickness is perfectly normal and most kids that attend a sleep away camp for two weeks or more typically experience at least a couple of days of it. However, when homesickness interferes with interacting with others, sleeping, eating and having fun, then it is problematic.

Studies have shown that the secret to preventing homesickness is actually begins at home long before the first day of camp.

Picking a Camp
Many times children that feel forced into going to camp often experience intense homesickness. Parents may find it helpful to include the child into the camp decision making process. Don’t necessarily pack them off to the summer camp where you went to. Sit down, look at the available camps and choose the one that best suits your child’s interest.

Practice Being Away From Home
Kids that haven’t experienced spending the night away before a camp experience are often more prone to feeling homesick. Way before the start of camp, give your child the opportunity to spend a night or two away from home. Perhaps it’s an overnight with a friend or relative. Either way, it provides them with the experience of sleeping somewhere different than their own room.

Packing
Involve your child in the packing process and allow them to bring a couple of sentimental reminders of home such as a favorite stuffed animal or pillow. Definitely include a family photograph.

Read
During the school year, read chapter books with a camp theme to get your child excited about the upcoming camp stint.

Snail Mail
Okay, so it may seem outdated today, but an old-fashioned letter home is a fabulous way for kids to keep in touch. Send them with pre-addressed and stamped envelopes and note cards.

Don’t Make a Deal
It’s a crucial mistake to tell kids that you will come and get them if they are homesick instead of talking about coping strategies for when they do.

Talk Strategies
Everyone misses home when they’re away. Let your child know that it is okay to feel homesick and it doesn’t make them a baby. Instead, give him or her ways to manage those feelings like keeping busy with all of the fun activities that camp has to offer. Remind the child beforehand that the counselor is there to help and to talk with someone about his or her lonely feelings instead of keeping them inside. Finally, camp isn’t going to last forever. A calendar can help them mark down the days until it’s time to return home.

In the end, every child is different. Some are ready for a sleep away camp adventure before others. However, as the saying goes; “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Preventative measures before the drive to camp can actually go a long way to lessening a bout of homesickness. As always, thanks for reading, Parents.

- John

Hey, Camp Parents!

Research shows children reap emotional, social, and physical benefits from attending summer camp.

So as a parent, you can give your children two gifts. The first is to send them to camp and the second is to prepare them for it so they are more likely to have the best possible experience.

The thought of sending a child away overnight for the first time can cause panic for both you and your child, but you can lessen the anxiety by following a few steps:

•  Practice for it.
•  Build independence.
•  Talk about it.
•  Involve your child.

Practice for it
A family camping trip is a good way to get your child used to sleeping out in nature and away from the comforts of home. Make it fun by bringing plenty to do. Go fishing, pitch horseshoes, and go on a hike. At night, build a campfire and roast s’mores. Your child will forever connect the taste of chocolate and marshmallow with having fun out in nature. At night, stare at the stars in the night sky.

As a dry run, you could even pitch a tent in the backyard and sleep out there before you take a real camping trip away from home. This is good practice for teaching them to sleep in a sleeping bag, rather than a bed. Leave all the electronic devices – cell phones, iPods, and iPads – at home. Your child will have to get used to that, too.

Part of success at summer camp depends on children learning to be away from parents. Set up sleepovers at other people’s houses, such as your child’s grandparents and one of his or her friends. The fun had away from home will reduce your child’s fear.

Build independence
Help your child build a feeling of independence before he leaves for camp. One way to do this is by giving your child responsibilities such as making her bed, cleaning her room, or making a simple meal or snack for herself. Hold your child accountable for completing these tasks, because at camp she will be required to help out and clean up.

Allow your child to make as many decisions as possible leading up to camp. On that camping trip, allow him to choose some of the activities the family engages in.

Think about the things your children will have to do at camp without you, and allow them to do these things without your help. Your daughter should brush her long hair by herself. It might end up a bit tangled, but that’s OK. Let your son pick out his own clothes for the day, even if it’s not the outfit you would choose for him.

Teach your children what they need to know and allow them to do those things themselves. At many camps, your child will be able to send you mail but not communicate electronically. Have your child write a letter to a relative, and ask her to address and stamp the envelope.

Talk about it
Your child will feel better about camp if you discuss it with him in detail and answer all his questions. Begin the conversations as far in advance as possible.

If your child is apprehensive, let her know it is normal to be a little scared of new situations, but she will feel better once she gets there, meets people and starts having fun. Ask your child about his fears and reassure him that the other kids will feel that way, but he or she will adjust. Your child will pick up on your emotional state, so project a positive attitude. If you feel good about it, she will likely feel good about it. Be calm and create an environment where your child feels comfortable expressing her concerns and approaching you with questions. Don’t tell your child how much you’ll miss him. Tell him how much fun he will have.

Find out what you can about day-to-day life at the camp. What will your child do each day? How many other kids will be there? How many counselors? What and where will they eat? Where will they go to the bathroom? Discuss all these questions with your child. Make a list of questions with your child for camp staff, and get answers as soon as possible. Reducing the unknown will make your child feel better about what’s to come.

For younger children, choose a book about a child who goes to summer camp, read it together, and talk about it afterward. How does your child feel about it? Older children might enjoy a funny summer camp movie as a conversation starter.

Work out a communication plan. Learn camp policies on phone use and mail, and explain to your child how often he or she will be able to communicate with you and what form that will take.

Involve your child
Make preparation for camp something you do together with your child every step of the way. That includes decision about which camp to attend and looking at the camp website and other promotional materials together. This helps build excitement and makes your child feel more invested in the decision to go.

Begin shopping and packing early. When shopping together, allow your daughter to pick out the swimsuit with the crazy colors or the Three Cheers for Girls Beach Towel and Bag Set. The more you get done early, the less stressful it will be in the days leading up to leaving. So get movin’ now so you won’t have to later and, as always, thank for reading!

- John