Hey, Phone Fans!
John isn’t in right now, but if you leave your name and number at the beep, he’ll be sure to get back to you. *BEEP*
Seriously though, today is a good day to record a funny, pranking, or absurd answering machine message since it’s National Inane Answering Machine Message Day. Depending on what generation you’re from, you may be more familiar with the (more-or-less) synonymous term, ‘voicemail message’ since cell phones no longer require answering machines that are separate from the phone.
While cell/smartphones certainly seem to be phasing out the landline home phone, many families still own landline telephones and use an answering machine as the phone’s trusty sidekick. Answering machine messages can be as simple as,
“Leave a message and we’ll return your call as soon as we can,”
or as elaborate as,
“Hello! You’ve reached the Wattersons. We’re sorry none of us were able to come to the phone right now, but leave a message for Sharon and David, Michael, Bobby, Sarah, or Sue—*Woof Woof* Haha! OR Spot—and we’ll be sure to return your call as soon as possible.” 
A good prank—and one that’s gotten me more than a couple times—is ‘answering the phone’ within the voicemail message. For instance, you record for your message, “Hello?….Who is this?….How did you get this number?” The idea is that, if it’s done well, the caller will start talking to the voicemail message. I know I’VE responded to these messages more than once!
I’ve creatively crafted my own voicemail message to lead people to think that I’m much more important than I actually am. It goes something like this: “John knows what devastating disappointment it must cause you to learn that he is unavailable to come to the phone right now. But if you leave your name and number, he will know that you have called.”
Maybe you ought to rerecord your voicemail or answering machine message today to give it a little flare! Happy Inane Answering Machine Message Day! As always, thanks for reading!
- John